T-Minus 60 [Days]

60 days to go and I'm actually kind of excited. Not freaking out like I was 40 days ago. Not stressing like I was 20 days ago. Just having a good time and accepting those things that had been crinkling around the good ol' think-box. At least for the time being, anyway. Ask me how I am next week and that could change entirely.

It's been really, really hot here lately and I kept using it as an excuse as to why I hadn't worked on anything. And then I stopped and thought about this for a minute. I snapped out of it and realized that it's okay to lay low sometimes and that I don't need to find an excuse when there's an actual reason. And the reason, that I finally happened upon after secretly celebrating the first couple hot days that would magically keep me out of the garage, was that I was in a rut. It's really that simple. I just wasn't feeling it. I'm sure you've felt the same way. The good thing about mulling this over was that I wasn't at war with myself anymore, which meant that I eventually found my way back to my path. So off I went to set up the sawhorses and find my saw. Of course, re-finding the path happened when it was still 106 outside, but thankfully it was toward the end of the heat wave. Yes, that's me wearing jeans in the heat and yes that's my super cute vintagey green air compressor and yes that's my canoe hanging by the rafters. And yes I wore safety glasses when I cut the wood. Sun glasses? Hmm.

So um, as you can see here, after the whole "hey it's effing hot out" ordeal was over, I have inched my way into the kitchen. Remember how the garage was the only space that was working for me? Welp, looks like the kitchen is the new line leader [do you remember line leaders? i was always too shy and chose to be at the back of the line, mostly because i didn't want people to get upset at me that i was in front of them. first grade logic.] But anyway, yes- so I'm in the kitchen now and I just painted a couple boards. Wood is the only material I've ever worked on and I really like it. One of the pieces is this really great pea green color. The biggest hassle about being indoors now is the cats. Their fur landing on the paint. Their potential paw prints on the paint. Clementine's bitching and moaning. It's all kind of annoying. I'll live, although they might not.

I've been learning a lot about myself during this whole making process [and also being reminded how much I dislike drawing....] and it's been kind of a fun venture. Minus not liking to draw. But anyway, I've taken to heart the fact that I need to switch things up a lot and it's a lot less of a battle now that I've accepted it. Not only with my environment, but general routines as well. Schedules, repetitive processes, and planned activities tend to make me a bit edgy and withdrawn and I'm thankful that I've [recently] learned how to deal with this. I just change my schedule or environment or mosey onto a new venture and like a rabbit in a hat, it's all better. I encourage any of you restless thinker types or creative creatures to try it some time. There's actually a good article on something similar over on Psychologies UK. The only concern that this has lead me to is the fact that maybe I shouldn't find myself what they call a career after all. The other problem is that sometimes all that swapping leads to lack of fulfillment. I've definitely trudged that ditch before. Like, last week. Dumb.

Okay, so back to drawing. One thing I learned during my short stint in design school [oh...design school...i miss you so much.] is that trace paper is my saving grace. It's really good if you get frustrated with drawing like I do. Because then you can draw and draw parts and pieces over and over until you get it right without having to erase anything, because eventually you just trace all the parts you like and come up with one entire image. Yeah, it takes forever but that's the way I do it and the only way drawing is any form of enjoyable for me. Aaannnnd you don't go through erasers as quickly. So onto my most recent tracing- a Violin Mantis. They're pretty charming, yeah? This will eventually turn into a screen print but until then I might just transfer the image and ink it up. I don't have a Rotring Rapidograph pen with a nib that's large enough in diameter, so I may have to bust out my Koh-i-Noor Rapidograph pens and curse them for 3 hours until they work. So I'm off to do that now...and feed my always bitching orange boy cat. Ugh. [I love my cat I love my cat I love my cat I love my cat...wait, what's the number of times you need to tell yourself something before it's rooted into your brain? shit. i'll tell you when i figure it out i guess.]

I Guess You Can Say it's Kind of Like My Baby...

You know when you have a blog that you visit for years and then they have a baby and SWEAR that they're not going to talk about the baby thing forever, but then forever comes and they're still talking about the baby? Well, I'm going to try my hardest not to talk about my [art show] baby...but I guess when something tugs at most of your free time, it becomes your life and most people who blog write about....wwwaaaaiiit foorrr iiitt.....their life.

This piece is taking forever and I think it's because the background is white. I had the hardest time with this one, which is white as well, so it only makes sense that it could be one of the reasons. But I think I've gotten through the bramble now. And really- where's the challenge if everything's easy? Anyway, I'm going to add more blue to the middle and a few more rounded shapes to soften the edges. Ha....if only I could just "add" rounded shapes to soften my own edges. Actually, I suppose I COULD do that now that I'm thinking this through a little more! Coins are round and coins buy THINGS. Happy pills are round too. Thin Mints are round and Thin Mints buy a few minutes of glee. I think I might be onto something here...more on this later. Back to my point...it would be awesome if I could finish this piece today but the weather people are in a frenzy about the heat and I don't want to move all my stuff from the garage to the dining room table.

Other than doing art stuff, I've been spending most of my time doing house projects [just small things...i'm slowly coming to the realization that i really don't like doing house projects. DAMN those DIY blogs for convincing me that doing projects is COOL!] Hmmm. Some firefighting stuff as well, but not too much of that yet. Hopefully I can start taking classes for the fire thing this fall, but we'll see. I'm not going to get too excited- it is SCHOOL, after all.

My new cards came in the mail the other day. Rather than calling them business cards, I'm referring to them as my "social networking cards." I'm pretty happy with them and I'm so glad that they turned out as well as they did! They're printed on the front and back and I got a good deal so I went for it and just ordered 500. 

So yeah, that's about it. I got up early this morning and watered the gardens and tried yet another paint sample on the exterior of the house. I think I may have found THE ONE! Bamboo Shoot by Sherwin Williams. We'll see...I was pulling for a color called "Sir-Moss-A-Lot" but he's a bit too boss for me. Which makes sense, because moss is boss. And since I'm rambling about moss, I might as well mention that I'm reading a book called Gathering Moss by Robin Wall Kimmerer. It's my second book this year [hey this is a big deal for me since I suck at finishing novels] and her writing is like soft fingers on a harp. But anyway, back to paint...I am going to go bake myself in the sun oven now and measure the house. Sherwin Williams is having a sale and I need to get on it already.

Can I Ask a Quick Favor of You?

So umm, I don't know if you guys are looking for something to do right now, but maybe you could "like" Yellow Canoe on facebook if you're feeling so inclined [my page for the art stuff.]

I'm trying to get to 200 by September...a pretty low number. But you know, just to gather a few friends before the new people show up. And by new people I mean the ones who may end up there after the show.

It's kind of like when you're in a long parade of cars traveling 53 in a 55. All it takes is one person to go around the slow-ee before the fire is fueled. If that person doesn't end up going around, and they will if they know what's good for them, chances are the other people wont either. biggest pet peeve ever. I face this on a daily basis during my drives across the hills and valleys before I get to Madison.

Anyway, I would be so grateful if you took a peak at the facebook thing. Of course, I don't think you should "like" it if you don't indeed like it. But if you do, that's cool. Thanks a bunch for any help. Sorry- a little forward compared to my normal tendencies but I am trying to come out of my shell a little more. 

*the piece above sold a couple years ago. i admit- i was a little sad to see it go. i hope that wherever it ended up is a house that fun people live in. :)

Adding Layers

A quiet, sunny Thursday morning here; my favorite time of day. I seem to find the most spark when the sun begins to lift or when the moon hangs high. I think that's pretty common.

I started this piece with the intention of keeping it quiet and low-key. You know, just simple and to the point. And then I got going and kept staring right through it as if it were glass...Shuffled a few scraps of paper and stared through it some more. It felt sheepish and meek. And while I'm usually a pusher of "less is more", I usually need the things that I make to really pack a punch. 

And so, after a few trips to the basement for inks, blocks and tools, I started to print. I kept telling myself to keep it calm and restful...but I still think this thing is going to find a fork in the road and choose to veer. The same thing happened with the last 2 pieces...I guess part of the reason is that the challenge of balancing and composing while adding and adding and adding some more is a fun challenge for me. And I think the other reason I always layer more and more is because when it's still or quiet, all the imperfections prod at me even at a half glance. I don't know...it just always seems a bit amateur or something. Not to say I'm a professional or anything. But you know what I mean, right? Maybe? Anyway. Here is where it sits right now...

Yellow arrows, inked to surface. The paper scraps aren't glued down yet. I spend a lot of time staring at the thing before I ever glue. Haha, and to think I wanted to finish this the same day I started...Yeeeahhh. Right.


I read this really great article by Douglas Eby the other day and it made me feel much better about this slow, chameleon-like process. Sometimes I need to step back and remember why I do this in the first place. So far it's the only thing I've found that sustains flow for as long as it does. My other 2 things are solo canoeing and gardening, although gardening isn't as good at it. Well, writing is good too, even though I'm always finding myself in fits with who I am vs. who I'm not. I think that started when I began writing for Houzz. Anyway...back to this article I read. It basically talks about how affected artists/designers/creative minds can be by their environment, which is something I mentioned in my last post. It was reassuring to read it from somebody else. One of my favorite parts from the post is: 

"1. Acceptance. Accepting things as they are is a great way to give yourself permission to be exactly where you’re at in your creative process even if that means struggling to maintain motivation or coming up with ideas. In other words, not judging your current situation as good or bad, but that it is what it is."

Something I need to remember more in my personal life: that things are what they are. Thankfully I'm pretty good at this when it comes to dealing with others. But during my own personal feats I always tend to be pretty hard on myself which is never fun. Annnyyywaaay. That's where I am with the art things right now. 

So my question for you is: What have you learned about yourself in your creative processes? I'm always curious about this sort of thing...I'd love to hear what you think. 

Art Show Stuffs

Last month I felt like crickets were crawling up the walls of my stomach every time I thought about this whole art show thing. I kept thinking in circles..."Oh...4 months? Is that all? How the hell am I going to pull this off in 4 months? What am I doing to myself?! Is this venue really over 70' long? There is no way I'm ever going to fill that much space."

I honestly can't remember the last time my stomach tingled. I'm not much of a butterfly trap. I usually cut to the chase and just pass out if things go amok. And although this was nowhere near any stage of amok, I was pretty much kinda sorta on the verge of freaking out. Why? I don't know...it's stupid. I mean come on, this is my show. I make the calls. It's up to me and only me to have things the way I want them. Oooh. RIght. Duh...that's why I'm freaking the fuck out. 

So anyway, after a few pep talks from myself to myself, I think I'm doing okay. Although, haha, funny thing- as of today I now have only 3 months left...you know, like 90 days. I still have a LOT to do. The same amount as I had 30 days ago, actually. Well, just about. I did buy some wood and I did go shopping for some screen printing stuff. I started some business card designs. I've had the table saw with a huge piece of plywood resting on top as my work space in the middle of the garage for about, oh, a solid 3 or 4 weeks now. Yeah, that's right. I have an entire basement, an extra bedroom, a kitchen table, a back deck, a front porch...lots of places to set up shop...and I chose the garage. The only place out of all those spaces that is actively used for something else every day. All of those other spaces are generally vacant. Joe has been so incredibly patient and I'm really surprised that he hasn't asked me [told me?] to move my stuff so we can park in there again. Ugh. I don't know....something about the garage just feels right. I wish I wasn't so affected by my environment...it's kind of a pain.

But, thanks to my garage, I did start this one today. Not quite finished and needs to be touched up a bit. The flashcard has to be glued down along with a couple other things. Oh. The white fuzzies are from a towel I shook out. I didn't really see them when I snapped the [chitty camera phone] photo.

Anyway, moving on. I have lots of ideas for new pieces. Tons of ideas, really. The problem is that I am a Gold Medalist when it comes to waiting until the last minute to do things. Seriously. I'm always training and I've become quite good at it, hence the gold medals. Sorry, I don't mean to brag. . . . .


We'll see how things go over the next few weeks. I'm feeling good now that I've gotten my feet wet and I think I'll be able to hold onto the baton for a bit. I'm sure you'll read all about it in the coming months. For now I'm off to bed.

House Tour: Main Floor

It has been so refreshing to read all these recent blog entries that have been mingling with the idea of "Hey look, I'm not perfect." For awhile I was having a hard time with a lot of the blogs I used to love reading every morning. I was starting to find myself cranky, annoyed and a little bit frustrated, and more often than not, a lot of these blogs made me feel bad about myself. It was really no good and I eventually cut out most of my daily reads. I've been much happier since.


When we moved to our house a few years ago, I absolutely loved it. And then I went through this phase where I'd cringe every time I looked around, always finding things I didn't like. It became hard for me to love something when I wished it was something else, and although I knew that I could make it something else, with time and money, I started to feel myself slowly pull away from it. I wanted to move back to Madison and I was afraid of becoming attached to it...the problem with this was that I was still got annoyed with things whenever I looked around. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Anyway, when I joined the Fire Department, I was surprised how quickly I felt calmed by a sense of connection. For the first time since moving here I actually felt like I lived here...it was no longer a place where I just came to sleep and I didn't find myself wanting to be in Madison on all my days off. In fact, I have actually gotten to the point where I would really rather not be in Madison. Of course, I do still enjoy going to visit friends, but it's not somewhere I find myself going to just to get away from my house anymore.


I've been wanting to show you my house for awhile and although I have posted photos of rooms here and there, it always comes with a little stress. I've never felt like I could show very much of it because it's not "finished." Or things aren't how I would like them to look. Or it's messy. Or whatever is wrong with it on any given day. And then the other day I walked around the house with my camera and snapped random photos. I didn't move anything around or clean anything up, and I didn't take a photo only to realize that something had to be moved 3" to the left so I could take a better one. 


After I uploaded the photos, I realized something-- my house isn't really that messy, even though I often feel like it is. And it's really not as ugly as I make it out to be, even though I often dwell on things. It's just that all those damn interior photos of "perfect" houses start to warp my brain and twist my perception a little bit. I could go on, but I'll spare you. Here is my house. I only took photos of the main floor and some photos of the back yard. The basement didn't make it. Maybe next time.


We enter the house through the garage, which walks into the kitchen:

We really like the subway tile in the kitchen, but would like to replace the oven with something that doesn't look like it's from a 1970's Sears catalog. I've also been in search for an old wooden counter-height table to replace this counter with. I'd like it to be a bit longer than this one and I don't want it to have that weird rounded edge. Oh, and this area seems to be our "catch all" since it's right by the door.

Eventually I will replace that scalloped trim above the sink with a piece of wood that's not all fancy-like. I'd like to get new hardware for the cabinets, but it's going to be costly since we have so many. Plus, chances are likely that I'll buy the hardware and change my mind. We've only used the dishwasher once. I should probably give it another shot. We wish that it was a different color, along with the fridge, and it will come with time:
























This is our dining area, although we rarely eat here. We'd love to replace the sliding door with French doors, but it's a dream that's far off. The fan will be leaving shortly and will be replaced with a drum pendant. We're going to do some kind of wooden ceiling when we find what we're looking for to eliminate that weird drop down piece. Recessed lights are in sight as well, and we'd like a different table and chairs.

This is the view past the sliding door. We hope to fill our yard with more trees over the years and I have big plans for making the hammock and garden area feel more connected.
























Here is the view if you look to the left. Those sliding doors are off my bedroom. It's a luxury to have sliding doors that lead to the deck. I don't use them as much as I should...
























This is the living room, which is the next room you walk into from the kitchen. We used to have a giant flokati rug on the floor, but it's really not conducive to a high traffic area. I've been in search for the right rug for about 2 years now...

























This is the view towards the hallway, which leads to 3 bedrooms and a bathroom.

This is the first bedroom of the 3, which is the guest room. I have big plans for it, but since we only have overnight guests a few times a year, I decided it's not a priority. The huge mirror on the bed is from the bathroom we're redoing.

Here's said bathroom...

The next room is probably one of my favorites; I love the vibrant colors. This is actually Joe's bedroom. Yes, you read correctly, Joe and I don't sleep in the same bedroom. No there's nothing wrong and I get really annoyed when people raise their eyebrow over this. We have very different sleeping habits and it's what works best for us. Thanks to this solution, we both get a good night's sleep unlike when we used to share a room.

Oooh-kay, so this is where things get a little odd. Directly across from Joe's bedroom door is my bedroom. This is where you enter. I have no idea what the intentions of the previous owners were or why they would have built it this way, but whatever. Here we have the bathroom, which will thankfully be remodeled and un-weirdened soon. Yeah, it's effed up.

This is the view to the other side of the bathroom/hallway weirdness. I have a big sliding mirrored closet door which comes in handy for practicing dance moves. As you can see, I haven't bothered to switch my blinds yet. I don't really like spending money on things that are only temporary. I'm hoping that this is the next interior space I work on after the other bathroom is finished.

I won this rug on eBay for like $3 or something. It's one of my favorite things. It used to be in my studio down in the basement, but then I realized that I never see it there and so I moved it to my room.
Aaaaand here is the bedroom. I'm hoping to put some French doors in this opening. It's pretty wide and there's no real door right now. The eventual goal is to knock out those 2 closets and add floor to ceiling windows.

The view to the left when I walk into my room. I'm excited about changing the paint color, if I can ever decide on one. I am looking forward to the day that I can get rid of the ugly paneling on the bottom half of the wall to the right. For now, this is my hang out spot. I like to swing in my pod chair and think. The hooks are my only solution to keeping tons of clothes off the floor. It seems to work really well for me, and it also keeps them from becoming wrinkled or full of cat fur.

A really bad photo, but this is my sliding door. Most of the plants live here since it's the only room with South-facing windows. I am looking for a better solution because I really don't like them here. I'm hoping to add more windows to this wall as well sometime in the near future.



This is the view out that small window between the two closets. I am really super excited about those big windows I'm after. I can't wait to wake up and look out the windows to see my big yard. The falling snow will be really cool to see in the winter, too. Oh, and that's where our flokati rug is currently living right now. I need to move it.

Last but not least, my bed. I never make my bed. I am anticipating the day that I have bedding that I like and a nightstand that is more of a nightstand. I usually have a bunch of magazines and notebooks on the bed with me. This is usually where I read or write when it's dark outside. I'm looking forward to having a desk in my room one day. I'm going to put it where my hanging chair is because I don't really like to write in bed.

So yeah, that's the main floor of my house. I really like the layout and hope to live here for a long time. There's a lot of potential and it's great for entertaining. My favorite part is that it's really quiet and we have quite a bit of privacy. I really do love it. Thanks for coming along for the tour. I'll show you the bathroom when it's done...for now I'm off to sand it.

This is Where I Hit "Post" and then Crawl Back into my Shell

So, do you ever feel almost as if you have too many things you want to do? Not things that you feel like you have to do...clean the bathroom, shop for groceries, feed the cats, stop at the drug store for mascara...but you know, like hobbies and stuff? 

And then you stop and realize that you just can't do everything that you want to do and that some things will just have to be brushed to the side to make room? Yeah. I hate that part...and I feel like that part might be closer than I would like it to be.

This year is my golden year. The year I've waited for since the first grade. The year I'm supposed to really shine [per my own agenda for 2012 along with turning 27 on the 27th of January...it just makes sense that I do it up this year.] 

[this photo was taken as a joke for facebook on new year's eve. the huge cheesy smile was intentional...]

Anyway, I've mentioned my to-do list a couple times and I think I'm finally okay with sharing. I've always been one to keep most things under wraps until they are a done deal. Mostly because if I tell people, then I feel like I'm held to it but also because if I fail, I'd rather nobody knew that I tried. Yeah...I'm working on some of those personal hang-ups of mine. Oh, and also- I thought that this post was perfect timing for me. It's a challenge that's been showing up in blogland over the past week. And, like Ez, I'm sure I'll want to delete this post by the time I'm finished. It will be really long and I'll feel like I've talked way, way more than I'm comfortable with.

This post is a doozy. You've been warned. Come on in.

Here are the goals I've been pecking away at for the last 4 months, along with some words for each:


1. Finish a novel: done.
2. Become a volunteer firefighter: done.
3. Find a gallery space for my first solo art show: done.
4. Pay off the car: done.
5. Start playing hockey: in the process of looking for an "in".
6. Start brewing beer: will happen this summer.
7. Take an overnight solo canoe trip: will happen this summer.
8. Start playing bass guitar again: will happen this fall.
9. Join a yoga class: will happen this fall.

1. I have not read a book since I was about 15 or so. I've never enjoyed reading anything other than magazines or blogs...I've always wished to, but never have. I'm sure that being forced to read when I was younger only made me resent the idea even more. But as an adult, it really sucks to want to do something and not understand why you have such a hard time with it. The sun eventually came out last summer when I found out that I have ADHD...ugh, saying that makes me cringe...but finally understanding why I have always had such a hard time with certain things has really helped me. My meds have helped me a lot. I never realized how tired I used to be all the time or how many things were always going on in my head every second. I guess I thought it was normal. I mean, it was normal for me. So finding this calmer rhythm has made it easier for me to sit and read sentences from start to finish rather than skipping lines or even entire paragraphs to read the end and then go back to read the middle. I don't have to re-read pages multiple times anymore, and I'm still kind of amazed that I can do this with ease now. It's cool. Anyway, the book I read was Hot Lights, Cold Steel by Dr. Michael J. Collins. I really enjoyed it...anything to do with the medical field has always intrigued me. I think it helped that the story was based in Minnesota and Illinois, since I'm right between those states, and it didn't hurt to learn that he plays hockey and drives piece of shit cars. I love hockey and drove a piece of shit car for a long time. I became a professional at getting stranded...it was nice to finally get a brand new car a few years ago. But yes, the book-- it was great and I plan to read his second book soon.

2. I've wanted to be a firefighter since I was about 18. I think I forgot about it for a few years since Joe didn't take me seriously, but the idea rekindled once we moved to Madison. As it turned out, I had just missed the hiring process and would have to wait 2 years until it came around again. Those 2 years went pretty fast and soon I found myself in a room with hundreds and hundreds of people anxiously shaking their legs and rubbing their groggy eyes. It was early. The test took a few hours to complete and then it was time to wait. At this point I was more focused on the fact that I actually went through with the somewhat tedious application process and was okay with whatever happened next. Some people try 3 or 4 or even 6 times before they get hired. It's rare that it happens the first time around. I will give it another go in January. Needless to say, my letter said that I wasn't moving on to the next round. I spent the next few months trying to find the courage to join the volunteer department in my very small town. I was afraid they were going to look at me and think I wasn't serious. I suppose I grew accustomed to that reaction; I have a small frame which apparently translates to "weak" and to be honest, I was nervous that they wouldn't have gear that would fit me well. I was thrilled and relieved that they were so welcoming when I showed up. They were really nice and seemed excited to show me around and tell me their stories. Anyway, you're supposed to go on the first Monday of the month if you're interested in joining...I missed a few by accident and a few on purpose and then I finally told myself "okay, next month I will do it." I pulled out my calendar to pen it in so I wouldn't skip it, yet again, and quickly realized that the next day was actually the first Monday of the current month. I couldn't find a reason to wait till the next month as originally planned, and the following night I found myself quietly walking across the parking lot and into an unfamiliar building. I got my gear a couple weeks later...it fits decent-ish. Right now I'm only probationary, but I'm pretty excited to see what's to come. It's one of those things that I knew I would never forgive myself for if I grew old without at least trying.

3. I booked a space late last week for my very first solo art exhibition. When I decided that this would be the year that I finally went through with it, I figured I'd have till October/November. Well, those dates were full and so I took a week long slot beginning on September 7th. I'd be lying if I said I didn't freak out a little after I did this. I mean, seriously, September 7th is in 4 months. That's really, really soon. Too soon? Hmm. Well, anyway- I have a lot to do. But, I know it will be fun and I am really excited about it! Extremely nervous, but excited.


4. We paid the Toyota off last month. We're both super stoked because for the first time in 9 years we will have extra money! We are celebrating our first month of extra cash by starting our bathroom revamp. Exciting, right? Yeeahhhh.....more on that one later. 

5. Hockey. Oh, hockey. It's the only sport I watch [photo above was taken at a Minnesota Wild game] and the only sport I have ever wanted to play [other than soccer.] Growing up, I'd come home with the waiver to join hockey every school year. For one reason or another, the answer was always the same. By high school I couldn't just go join....for one my school didn't have a team and two, I was waaay behind everybody else who had been playing since they were young. Skip ahead a few years and I lived near Kenosha, Wisconsin- land of depression and lack of personalities. It's damn near impossible to find people with common interests. Sorry if you live there and take offense...I lived there too and absolutely hated it. Ugh, I could never do it again. But, now I am lucky enough to live near Madison, and I am working on finding a way into a league. I've never skated or played hockey, other than street hockey when I was younger. I'm pretty amped that this is finally going to happen, although I am kind of feeling like I will be in over my head if I take this on along with the art and fire stuff. We'll see. If it doesn't happen this year, it will happen next year.


6. I've been talking about brewing beer for ages...I'm mostly excited to make the labels for the bottles. This is a 'Me and Joe' venture. We don't share too many hobbies so this will be fun. :)

7. I bought my Bell Merlin II [a solo canoe] last fall and have gotten out quite a few times. It's the main reason there are weeds in my garden. I'm planning to do a solo canoe trip down the Wisconsin River at some point this summer, which has been something I've looked forward to for awhile now. The reactions I have gotten about this have been entertaining as well as annoying. A lot of "that's so cool!" and even more of the "by yourself?!" and "WHY would you want to do that?!" or "that's dangerous!" My answer for them is: "yes, by myself", "to get away from people like you" [okay, that's not the entire reason...and I don't really say that. but still.] and "driving is dangerous too, you know."


8. I've had my bass guitar for about, ooohh, 10 years now. Bass is my favorite instrument to listen to in music, with drums coming in at a close second. I'm going to buy a nicer amp and I'll probably take some lessons so I can build a decent foundation. I'm looking forward to it.


9. Yoga is one of those things that should have happened a long time ago but just hasn't. I do meditate and I really could use the flexibility, along with the vast amount of other benefits, so it only seems right that I do this. I'm shooting for October...after the art show is over and canoe season takes a break.

So yeah, those are my prospects for 2012. In writing, it doesn't seem like much, but I feel like I haven't really had a direct focus in a while so this will be good for me. Next year's list includes stuff like beekeeping, welding and learning how to ski, and I'm hoping to start school before I'm 30.


I've felt great since I started working on my list. It's nice to have goals; they're so important for anyone who's after some sort of personal growth. If we don't challenge ourselves, we just stay. Staying is boring. It never changes. It becomes dull. I know that change scares people, but I don't know how people stay comfortable by living in their little boxes that always stay the same. It makes me sad that they are afraid to try new things and that they just fill the same routine, all the time. That they don't realize there's so much more to life than shopping, eating, working, watching television, browsing the internet. I know it comes down to more than simply doing something; there's usually a reason they haven't tried. But even just trying something small can have a tremendous impact on a person's self confidence. To me, self confidence is the first step towards genuine happiness.


But anyway, that's basically it. I know, it's a lot of words. It feels weird to throw all of those things into the world, to total strangers, and to people I know in real life who secretly read this blog. If you made it to the end, I'm pretty impressed. If you skimmed through, I don't blame you. Like I said, this post is a doozy. But thanks for reading whatever you did read. I'm interested in hearing about the goals you hope to conquer. Hearing about people who go through with doing things that scare them is one of my favorite things. I think it helps to feed my own ambition to read or hear about people who are living.

Okay, I need to start drywalling the bathroom now...I've never drywalled before. This should be fun.


Thanks again, friends. :)

My Tree is in Bloom

I came into 2012 with much ambition and a hefty stack of goals. Not hefty in terms of quantity, but more along the lines of things that are kind of bigger than "Paint the Bathroom in May." As each line begged for their red mark to be penned through, I think I may have overlooked "Forget About the Blog." It would have made the list look great with another thing crossed out.

Anyway, I've been working on the biggest goal of them all for a couple months now. I really, really want to tell you guys about it, but I can't yet...mainly because I don't have a photo, and I feel like this one neeeeeds a photo.


For now I can show you one of the things I've been working on in the back yard. This was supposed to be the "Year of the Front Yard" since I haven't crept out much from my behind-the-scenes comfort, but rest assured; the front has been receiving some much needed brushing as well.

And so, what we have here is the "Retaining Wall Re-stack".....which was not on my list for spring projects, but it was bugging me to no end, even after my attempts at letting things go and being okay with flaws, so I finally said eff it, it's getting re-done.






































Here you can see that the stones were becoming a bit gnarled. I suppose it's half due to years of seasonal shifting and half to whoever built the thing. So I figured I'd demolish Scraggle Fest and just re-stack it all. Keyword here is just.  

Of course, it is turning out to be a bigger task than I set out for, but I suppose I should be used to that by now. Nothing a few Ibuprofens and a few sips of an adult bevy can't fix. And a couple days of resting afterwards. Followed by a few hours of "hmm....is that my back or my kidneys that feel like hell....". Oh, and I can't forget about all the rocks that are killing the grass as they sit there waiting for my next day off. I'll finish it eventually. I just want everything to be in straight lines. I think it will look and feel so much better.

Anyway, during my rock wall project I was fortunate enough to see that our crab apple tree was in bloom. I think it held tightly to its blossoms for a good two weeks or so, which outlasted last spring's by quite a long time.

It was kind of funny; on the first day those showy pink flowers came out, I was so happy to have the day off to admire their beauty. I even made a promise to myself not to meet up with anybody for coffee or go run errands to Madison, just so I could enjoy my tree all day long. I kind of laughed when I pictured myself telling a friend "Oh....yeah...I can't meet for coffee today. My crab apple tree is in bloom." I realized how silly it might sound from the their perspective. But I also knew that anybody who truly knows me would understand. The tree is so pretty and I'd really hate to miss it.

As the lunch hour crept in, I found myself at my mailbox hoping for a new magazine. I opened the door and saw that Real Simple magazine had arrived. I was hoping for House Beautiful, but that's okay. I went inside and sat down with my mushroom and red onion pizza and flipped the pages looking for a quick read.


To my surprise, there was an article with a photo of a crab apple tree titled "The Giving Tree." It was about a woman who has a crab apple tree in her yard, and she talks about how fond she has grown of her tree over the years. It was really cool because she hit on many of the same thoughts I had just a few hours prior, and I kept thinking about how awesome it was to come across this article when I did. I couldn't help but to let it brighten my day.


The crab apple tree in our back yard makes me want to live in this house forever, which is a commitment I've had a hard time allowing myself to make, as much as I've wanted to and as easy as it seems it would be. Reading that article made me feel a little closer to embracing the thought that living here forever would be cool. It's so much easier to feel a sense of contentment when I imagine myself growing with everything we do to make this house our home when I take away the idea that one day we might leave it for something else. It's also easier now that I've decided to take every Monday off for the sole purpose of becoming more connected to our home and where we live. I can only imagine that it will bring me more joy...in 11 minutes will be my third Monday. I should hit the sheets so I'm not too groggy to enjoy it.

Wisconsin River

Last weekend we explored a sandy path that stretches along the edge of the Wisconsin River. It was a beautiful sunny evening; The snow had melted away and all that was left were cool sandy hills and tufts of tall golden grasses, waving in the breeze.

The river has this way of making you forget about what should be forgotten and remember what should be remembered. Stories abound. Laughter echos. Smiles glow. Rigid emotions surrender and are replaced by the warmth of those that are calm.

This photo was taken in the town I live in. There are many, many days that I long for a house in Madison. A house that's close enough to host a last minute dinner party for my friends. One that lets me walk to my favorite coffee shops and restaurants or allows me ride my bike to work. A base camp for the nights I want to go out after work but have to come all the way home first just to turn back around a few hours later.


When I look at the photo, I can't help but to ask myself why I'd want to leave. The views here are gorgeous. Sure, they're not the mountains or the ocean, but it's what we have and what we have is quite striking. Our house felt like home from the minute we walked through the doors. The neighborhood is quiet. Right now the only thing I can hear over the tick of the clock is a Mourning Dove. That's it. Nothing else.

But still, again and again, I find myself yearning for the day when we live near a decent grocery store. And in all honesty, it's thoughts like this that have made me feel unattached and distant from the thought of living here. Right now I just stay here. I haven't been able to connect with my house as much as I'd wish because I don't feel like I need to be here. It's more like I'm always trying to escape; to go to Madison to do fun things. I live there more than I live here, and it really started to bother me.


And so, last night I took the first step towards feeling like I have a sense of living here. I wish I could tell you what it is...and I suppose I could tell you what it is. But not yet. Not until it's official.


I'll come back with pictures when it's time. Goal #2 of 2012 is about to get a nice red line penned through it...I'll show you my list sometime.

Work in Progress: Mixed Media on Wood

The other day I sat down and had a little talk with my buddy Rotring Rapidograph. It was well received, and after about 40 minutes of gentle persuasion, he finally gave in and decided to stop being so damn stubborn. 

And so with a pen that was once again in working order, after previously thinking it was in need of major surgery for the last 5 months, I anxiously began lugging my paper scraps, inks and tools up the stairs and to the kitchen table. I think we've talked about the patience I have for my studio before...it's in the basement and I cannot, for the life of me, work in the basement during the day. And to be honest, I can't work down there at night either. I tried to like it, but it's just not working out for me right now. And so, the kitchen table is usually where I end up.


The process of clipping and shuffling and staring and feeling soon took over my Wednesday afternoon. I had forgotten how much pleasure I get out of working on new pieces...it's as if I step over into a different world. It kind of reminds me of disappearing into one of those warp tunnels in Mario. Pretty awesome.

But, there is just one small dilemma with this secret world I visit. The obstacle of coming out of it before I'm ready is a bit of a drag...it's like, once I'm in I have to stay there until I run into a hurdle that's too high to jump, or else I end up resenting the things in life that are pulling me away. Work, appointments, house guests. You know, commitments. The idea of a vacation sounds more and more appealing.

When it comes down to it, however, it's this creative escape I should be thankful for. I shouldn't look at the other things like they are such hindrances. I mean, they kind of are, but it's those very challenges that make the process so gratifying, right? Right.


Anyway, my hope is that I can take a solo canoe trip this summer, down the Wisconsin River, and haul all of my art stuff with me. I'll let you know how it goes. For now I have to wait for warmer weather so much inks don't freeze.

DIY Side Table

Hey gang! How are you guys? Things are going pretty well here. I'm just spending a few minutes with my coffee and blogs before I get ready for work this morning. Not that I really have much of an excuse to take it easy...I spent the entire day on the couch yesterday after a really long night of dancing and good conversation with friends. I have to be honest here- adding a new record to the books was pretty exciting. Well, actually, I added 2 records to the books but I can't tell you about the second one because I don't think Joe wants to hear about me getting hit on by not 1, not 2 but 3! different guys. This never, ever EVER happens to me, so it was quite entertaining. And rest assured- I didn't get anything out of it other than a good laugh. I like brushing up on my acting skillz every now and then, you know? Ah, the life I make up for myself when talking to weird strangers. But anyway, as I was saying...the record I CAN tell you about. So, yeah...I didn't get home until 7:20 in the morning. Which basically means that I didn't go to bed until 7:30 a.m. Dang! Isn't that crazy?! Yeah, that's the latest I've ever stayed up. And certainly the latest I've ever gotten home. Driving west at that hour reminded me of our trips up north to visit my Grandparents. The sun hits the trees just right. *Sigh*...

Anyway. So yes, what I was getting to is that I picked a great day to spend on the couch because yesterday was Hockey Day on NBC which was AWESOME. I watched hockey all afternoon and lusted after the day we have cable again so this can become more of a routine. Oh, we also walked to the local greasy food joint for a chocolate malt. I was jonesing hard for one and whenever I don't feel the greatest I neeeeed to eat whatever I'm craving or else that's all I'll think about and it's like watching my Zelda heart number dip lower and lower. But once I get what I am hungry for, ZING! Back up again! 

Okay so moving on, I came here so I could show you this thing, in case you want to make one. It's a side table that I made out of copper elbows and dowel rods. 

I've been longing for a table like this for years and years, and it's finally time for me to have one. I had to wait until we had the right couch because it wouldn't have worked with the old set up. And so then we got the right couch but I didn't have $100 to shell out on the table that I wanted, so I just made one. Rather than flood the blog with the how-to, you can check it out over at Houzz if you want to.

Okay, well off I go, or else I'm going to be late for work. No good. See you around, thanks for stopping by. :)

My Latest Project: Reclaimed Wood Bench

Hey friends, how are things!? I hope everything is going well. Sooo, it looks like we're almost into spring! Although, I must say...this winter was kind of a drag since we haven't had much snow. I'm holding tight to the thought that we may still get some, but there will come a point when I will make the switch from "snowshoeing. snowshoeing. snowshoeing." to "canoeing. canoeing. canoeing." I'm willing to give it a little more time.


Anywaaay. I just finished a project that I'm excited to show you! So I've had this photo of a really sweet wood floor in my inspiration folder for quite some time now. It's made up of all these random scraps of wood and it looks really cool. I kept telling myself that I'd have a floor like that some day, but I slowly accepted the fact that new floors are way way waaaay at the bottom of my to do list. So I put the thought aside and moved along. 


I was zinging around my basement one day last month and thought "wow, i have a lot of art pieces that have been just sitting here...i should probably do something with those." I remember going back upstairs to brush my teeth which is when I came up with an idea that I thought was pretty stellar. 

I've been wanting a quilt for my bed for a long, long time now...stay with me here...because I just like the way all the blocks of color look together. But since sewing is not a skill I have, because who the hell has patience for scissors and thread when you can just use saws and nails, I decided I could use all of my wood scraps for something like a quilt, resembling the floor I was after. I thought it would be really cool to just have a huge panel to hang on my living room wall. Like a gigantic panel. And then it hit me...instead of constructing a hardly functional art piece, I could use all these scraps for a bench! I would kill like 5 birds with one stone [my sling shot makes things do loop-de-loops] and it would be the coolest.





































There's an odd recess in our dining area that I've wanted to fill since we moved in. It's an area that's grated my eyes since August 2009 and I've gone back and forth around various solutions, without ever settling on one. For awhile I thought I wanted a long row of sleek cabinets screwed to the wall at bar height. But let's face it- we have way more storage than we need and we rarely have guests over AND, worst of all, I would have to spend a LOT of $$$ on liquor to bring it up to the swank factor I'd be going for. So I reset my idea to the thought of a bench...but didn't have the $$$ for one that I'd like. And I wasn't about to build a "nice" bench, because doing so would make me crazy. And so, like with many things, my frustration swarmed and rested again and again.

And so, when I came up with this idea that only took me 2.5 years, I got to work right away. I only had to purchase 2 things for it- a 2x4 and a 4x4. Of course, that meant I had to go to the hardware store for wood, which I always hate doing because since I don't have a dong I must be helpless, but I warded that douche bag off quite nicely. Help is one thing, condescending tone is another. Don't worry, I was nice about it. Anyway. I spent a couple of late nights in the back room of my basement. The whole time I was building it I kept thinking "gosh, if we lived in madison, i would never have a huge workspace like this." See, I'm trying to convince myself that living close to BFE is cool. And it is...until I want to do late night things with friends in Madison.

So I cut and spray painted and block printed and assembled until my heart was content. I have to say- this is the first project I've ever done without getting frustrated, angry, or annoyed. I was excited to be working on it and didn't dread it one bit. No hammers were thrown and no knuckles were bloodied. I think I only dropped the f-bomb 2 times. Basically what I'm trying to say is that it was fun. And the reason it was fun was because it didn't have to be perfect. Since I was using imperfect materials, it could look as raw and edgy and quirky as I'd like. This is the loophole to my sanity. Works like a charm.

Of course, I had to include a secret compartment as well. I offloaded all of the toys I've been collecting over the years. Most of these are toys that I've found on the ground or under a restaurant table when I used to waitress. A couple of the things were toys from my childhood. I got the Micro Machines for my 6th birthday. The Daffy Duck is from Great America when I was about 4 or 5. The little green camera was for my 18th birthday. The bench itself was a gift to myself for my 27th birthday. I finished it the day of.

Here it is, a shot from above. I finished it with yardsticks. The blue one was given to me by a friend. It's my favorite one. I'm going to get some cushions and pillows so I can rest against the wall and read and attempt to admire my backyard. The picture rail is only temporary. I framed some prints I've had forever but I have a few more to do yet, and once they're finished, I'll hang everything on the wall in a grid pattern. 


We're looking for a farmhouse table and then we'll finish the ceiling and the lighting. But for now, I'm finally content with the space....and I have moved my frustrations to my bedroom layout. It's the next project on my list, and I'm trying to decide if demolishing the 2 closets is a good idea or a terrible idea. I am leaning towards good idea...because then I could get a sweet armoire and have my wall of windows looking over the back yard. Maybe I'll even make a quilt for my bed. That would be huge...