Saturday, June 11, 2011

My Newest Idea...

Yesterday I took 2 naps. I'm big on naps whenever I have a day just seems fitting to take a rest or two when there is nothing that I have to do. It's pretty typical for me to crash at an hour that falls during the mid-afternoon. On days that I don't have time to snooze, I usually resolve this conflict with coffee. But on the days that I do have time to drift, I usually end up ruminating over some new idea that generally pushes me into the mindset of "i need to do this and i need to do this now".

Today's drifting thoughts were good ones. And the more I think about them, the more they make sense. 

I started thinking about my life as it is and my life as it could be. Over the past year, I've become pretty good at figuring things out as they come rather than poking at the endless variety of "what ifs". I am feeling pretty comfortable in this perspective, and lately I've been looking into it all just a little bit deeper. I have arrived at the realization that while I'm making an effort to live in the here and now, I've only come as far as to react to the here and now. 

Basically what I'm trying to say is this: Joe and I don't have kids, and frankly, I don't really want kids. If, on the off chance, I found myself with a wild hair, I would prefer to start a family through adoption. But all of that is quite far off. 

And in addition to not having kids, I don't have a career. I work 32-40 hours a week at an outdoor shop and spend a couple hours writing for a website. I don't have benefits and the paycheck that I bring home is based on the hourly wage of retail. I don't have a degree and I'm not in school.

So, pretty much, I can do whatever I want at this point, within reason. And I really have to start doing that while the stars are aligned.

So what I want to do, as of yesterday afternoon, is this: I want to get a motorcycle (a sweetly cute vintage one would be the cat's meow) and ride it across the country. Somewhere West. For a month. By myself. Next June.

If I start saving now, I think I can make it happen. A year seems like a decent amount of time to save for this sort of thing, although I may need to take a loan out for the bike. Every little bit of cash that I find in my pocket at the end of the day will go into my change jar, minus money that I want to keep for food or coffee. And as you can see, Clementine decided to help by stuffing one of his toys in the jar a few months ago.

So, while this may be more along the lines of preparing for something in the future, it's only because I don't have the funds or knowledge or time set aside to go right now. A few things need to fall into place first. A bike...a bike class...some gear...and I need to tell Joe. I haven't told him about this latest and greatest idea of mine. I'm preparing for a reaction of "yeah, okay...", but we'll see.

So yeah. That's my newest want in life. We'll see if I can pull it off.

In the closer to now timeline, Joe and I are going backpacking for the first time in a couple months. Something we've been wanting to do for a long time but haven't had the gear for. I'm not quite sure where we're off to, but I'll keep you in the loop.

For now I'm off to do some projects.


Shona~ LALA dex press said...

Sounds like a wonderful idea/ goal/ ADVENTURE!

kate said...

I love reading posts like this.

I have to admit that the real reason I love them is because it makes me feel less alone in the world. My husband and I knew before we married that we did not want kids. In fact, we took pretty extreme measures to ensure that we would never have kids. Shortly after we married and up until about a few months ago (they've given up on us), we were ridiculed, pestered, guilted and generally made to feel like failures for not having kids. It sucked, but we stuck to our guns, and now the friends and family who HAD kids when we decided not to are now admiting that we made the right choice. It's not to say that they regret having their kids, but they see the freedom (and fuller wallet) we have and they're jealous. So we win!

Neither of us have any regrets.

Anyway, it makes me feel good to know that so many others out there are choosing the kidless life. I'm hearing about it more and more these days. Like I said, it makes me feel less alone, but it also makes me realize that folks are starting to think about what it means to have a kid, the sacrifices they'll ultimately have to make, and not just going through with it because it's "what you're supposed to do" (we heard that line more than any other and it made me want to snap into kill mode).

You're making the smart move. I admire that.

becksterc said...

My husband and I never had kids. I'm 57 now and I've felt this way since I was a teenager. And I can honestly say I do not regret it AT ALL. It's wonderful to have the freedom of knowing I don't have to worry about the state of the world and my role in it - at least, from the point of view of a parent. I had issues of patience and responsibility and feel I would have been an abusive parent. It is a great option, not having kids. (Plus, I really don't like being around them all that much!)