Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Late Night

At about 9:15 tonight I had the urge to drag my art shit upstairs and give it another go. Yesterday morning I gave up on having an eventfully creative day after 2 failed attempts...I did the dishes and took a 3 hour nap instead. I thought for sure that the piece I started would be one that sat on a shelf for a few months until I was ready to give it a second glance, so I quickly jumped at the glimmer of energy I found this evening. It's funny because I usually go to bed by 9:30 or 10:00 and here I am, up at 12:17am, blogging.

So I scattered my papers, scissors and glue (photo above taken before that happened) and while I was blissfully clipping away, I started to think about what my next go-get-it move in life was going to be. It occurred to me that doing an art exhibition was probably a good direction to follow. It would be fun, challenging and somewhat nerve racking, which is exactly what I've been going for with this little life-enhancement-focus I've had over the past few months.
(yes, that's really how i hold my pen. tightly. yikes!) 

I haven't really mentioned it much on here because it's kind of weird to talk about, but I've been doing this exposure therapy/etc. stuff, with the help of a psychologist, and I have to say- it has been a huge help in multiple aspects of my life. In a nutshell, it's nice to be able to do things without worrying as much, although I never did consider myself to be overly-worried (even if I slept with a baseball bat, pepper spray, a kubaton, my cell phone, the chair against the door and two guard cats whenever Joe left town, until just recently...) but yeah- I've learned that you just have to do stuff and when you do stuff, you feel better about life, which is something I've always believed. Like that kayak rolling class I took last month or the solo canoe trip I hope to take this summer...both scary things, but both things that will lead to a great sense of accomplishment once completed.

So yes. I really want to do an art show but I don't know how to get started. I have a few ideas but I'm open to suggestions too. Oddly enough, I'm not nervous about what people think about my work in general, but more about being there when they are looking at it. I mean, if I was standing in front of a photo or a painting at somebody else's show and was openly admiring it and then found out that the cute guy with the nice jeans and thick rimmed glasses who was standing 2 feet away was the person who made it, I'd just about die and want to eat all the words that just fell out of my mouth. I'd probably blush for the rest of the hour. And if it was the cute guy with the nice jeans and dark rimmed glasses who was admiring my work, I'd probably drop a pen and then accidentally kick it so I could get the heck away from there. Haha, it looks like I still have some work to do before I'm all the way through this over-thinking thing. I guess what it comes down to is that I don't really care if they say bad things about it, but it's more about if they say good things. Is that weird?

Hmm. Anyway, the piece I'm working on right now is block print, paper and India ink. The only medium I care to work in these days seems to be mixed media. I really like it because I don't get bored. If I was just painting or just drawing or just printing, I would get bored. So I mix it up and cut. paste. print.

Oh. And while I was getting my craft on, I was listening to Pandora on my phone (ummm, I FINALLY HAVE A SMART PHONE. Did I tell you that yet?! OH man, my day to day is so much better now! For real. Way better. More on that later...) Annnyyway- what I was going to say is that I started thinking about how I might mention that I had been talking to somebody about improving my thinking/mood balance/etc. and then this song came on. Check out the title. I thought it was rather fitting, hahaha.

Oh and one last thing, because I feel like I have to give a disclaimer- I have learned that therapists/shrinks/psychs/whatever you want to call them (i still haven't found a word I like) aren't just for whack jobs, emotionally unstable people or those who have been through trauma, but also for those who just want feedback on their thought processes and how to improve their day to day thinking and interaction with others (which is where I categorize myself) and I'd highly recommend it if you are looking to become a better person. Okay, I'm done talking about awkward subjects now...please don't wonder about me too much, it's really weird to be posting this to the entire world. Off to bed.

1 comment:

Mrs. Kitchin said...

Thanks for this post! I think it's great when people can be open and honest about their emotional well-being. I've never understood why there is such a stigma associated with the subject.