Tuesday, April 18, 2006

last night i was thinking about a lot of stuff...how i wanted to start with paper arts and move onto something bigger and better when i had the time. well, i dont have the time right now and i probably wont for quite awhile. my big thing is that i want to make products for the home. everything from pillows to placemats to prints for the wall. i have a lot of ideas for pillow designs, its just a matter of MAKING them. i really have to learn how to embroider one of these days too. i feel like ive put a lot of money into bookbinding already though, i would feel guilty about buying the stuff i need for the new projects i want to do. i had 2 sales right away in my new etsy shop...traffic doesnt seem very high in the shop though, which is probably okay since i should be planning our wedding. but in all honesty, i really. really. reallllly dont feel like planning the wedding. i was so excited to do it for the longest time...about a year before we even got engaged i started writing ideas down. but now i just think "wedding? ugh. i'd rather make things for people who will be happy with their new items" because anytime i talk about our wedding, people tend to give a funny look. and i know that its "our wedding, do what WE want" but im seriously so sick of the blank stares when they ask all excitedly "where did you buy your dress?!" i tell them that a girl made it for me. i would go into full blown detail- how she was in school for fashion design, this is her OWN business, all the money goes directly to her, i like supporting that type of thing...but the couple times i have mentioned it, they lose interest. i personally think my dress is beautiful, chrissy from wai-ching made it. if you want to see it, its the "symphony dress"...white with fall colors. then people say how they want to help, yadda yadda. while i appreciate the offer and know that we will need help, im tired of explaining why i dont want people to do "our flowers" because WE ARENT HAVING FLOWERS. is that so wrong? i didnt think so either, until almost everybody ive told just stared and asked "why?". the bridesmaids are carrying lanterns. im carrying a bouquet, a really simple bouquet though that im making (why would i let someone else make my bouquet when i want to do it myself?) but thats pretty much all the flowers we're having. just my bouquet. a lot of people are asking where im getting my hair and makeup done...they all tell me "no, dont do that" when i say that im doing it myself. dont do that?? im sorry, but fuck you. im making my necklace, another thing people think is "out there". you know, planning a wedding was something that i couldnt wait to do. but now that everyone has their own ideas about how our wedding should be, and arent supportive of my ideas, its really putting a damper on things. i knew from the start that people would kind of think it was strange about this or that...but i 1) didnt think they'd openly admit it and 2) didnt think they would have such a strong opinion. the only people so far who have been open to MY ideas are my mom, my moh- kaitlin, our friends rod and tricia, and my aunt judy. my mom backs me up all the time when family members ask "oh where did you buy your dress?" im so happy that my parents are supportive of this type of thing. i wasnt exactly raised like that, i mean i wasnt taught to do things "differently" than most people, but they are pretty supportive when i tell them about my crafty ideas, which is great. my dad is all about asking me about the things ive been making, he wants to help with things too. maybe when i get around to screenprinting i can use his help. my mom is going to be helping me a lot this summer with making the stuff for the wedding, since she doesnt work in the summer (must be awesome, huh?). at any rate, this post was mostly a rant about how im upset that people cant see the simple things in life and that im sick of that fact. i put my homemade tags on gifts i give to people and they dont care that i made them...or when we wrap our christmas presents in kraft paper and stamp the paper or tie pretty ribbon around it (since i love the way it looks) people say "what, all you could afford was a grocery bag?" and it pisses me off. thats what I like, its MY gift to you (greedy bastard), its recycling (when i have gifts small enough to actually use the grocery bags, otherwise its kraft paper), and YES, its saves us money and makes ME happy to make it.

anyways. enough bitching, time for sleep.

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